NuORDER *(In the spotlight )* 6-5-20nu

Written by kCAne MarkCO on . Posted in Blog

Tiffany Bacon Grandstafflo

What do you think makes a woman sexy?

I think confidence has a lot to do with it. If a woman feels good in her own skin and exudes femininity, then I think that is what makes her sexy to herself (and whoever she is trying to attract). The greatest leaders were so successful because they never let on for a second that they didn’t believe every word they were saying. Confidence can change the world, and sexiness runs on the same system.


Can a woman learn to be sexy or is it an inherent trait?

For some women, sexiness is inherited; but for the most part, being sexy is something you learn through trial and error. “Ain’t ever been shit, won’t ever be shit.” With that said, I think it’s important to consider that no matter what you build, it requires a strong foundation. This shit is not for the faint of heart.

How did you get your smokin’ body back after having children?

I’m a freak of nature. No, seriously: I just stayed active while I was pregnant. It didn’t hurt that I was petite to start out and that I had mad morning sickness, but after I had my sons I just didn’t wait to get back up off my ass and do the damn thing. I made myself get up when I was tired like a mean step-parent. I pushed my son in his stroller really fast too; that seemed to help.

What do you enjoy doing most?

I run my own business as a freelance writer, so I have a lot of friends stop by my home office. We sit around my desk/kitchen table and shoot the shit and sometimes I sing for their eager asses. The acoustics are pretty good in my kitchen. I absolutely adore doing my job, so I am living the dream of doing exactly what I love and getting paid for it.


What made you want to be a writer?

I can’t remember ever wanting to be anything else, besides maybe a weather girl (after the release o the movie “Twister”), a singer, and the goddess Isis (seriously). To me, the power of language is one of the most important things in the world. To be able to shape and mold language to do your bidding is what separates beasts from men.

Which author inspires you the most?

I started my obsession with Robert Fulghum. Now, I really like David Eagleman, especially his kick ass book “Sum”. Only 3% of the population reads and I think that’s lame as hell, Eagleman’s book “Incognito” explains a lot about why people are so disappointing in this area. You want something good to read and get you addicted; try out some Hunter S. Thompson. Smart people turn me the fuck on.

What style of music inspires you the most?

Classical music is my heavy metal. I really dig jazz and blues too. When I am trying to get inspired or start work, I turn on some hardcore Rap or Hip Hop (a lot of the time, something from NuOrder Ent.) and then I maintain my mojo with some jazz or classical. Everyone has their own process; mine just has class and variety.

What advice would you give an aspiring artist or writer?

If you want to make it then you have to decide for yourself if the juice is worth the squeeze, and then you have to be willing to walk the coals. Remember, nothing worth doing is ever easy; and nothing easy is ever worth doing.

How does music influence your daily life?

It is literally the engine that keeps me going. It’s everything that is awesome about me because I no matter what I do, I have a soundtrack going on in the background. On a purely physics level, we are all energy and sound. So, I guess you could say that music is what I live and breathe. That’s why I like my music loud.

Who has had the biggest influence on your life?

My daddy; enough said.

Do the clothes make the woman or does the woman make the clothes?

Both: If you don’t believe me, go ask a naked chick. At the same time, a funky ass woman can mess up an outfit in a hurry. I think it’s a collaborative effort between you and your clothes.

If you could interview one person (from the past, present, or future) who would it be and why?

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I’d interview Isis, because she was a bad bitch. If you want to be good at something, then you have to learn from people who do it best. 😉


Written by kCAne MarkCO on . Posted in Blog, Music, News, Video

Prevent Bullying

One way to stop bullying is to take steps to prevent bullying from starting. Some ways to prevent bullying is through providing a bully policy, consequences for bullies, and educating potential victims of bullying. Keep reading for more tips on preventing bullying.


Steps to prevent bullying before it starts can address the problem from several directions. Prevention can be aimed at creating a situation in which bullying is not tolerated, in giving potential bullies outlets and behavior suggestions so that thoughts and feelings that could end up in bullying are channeled in different ways, and in helping potential victims avoid becoming the victim of bullying behavior. This article explores some of the current thoughts about how bullying can be prevented.

Prevent Bullying With Policies

A clear definition of bullying and a policy that disallows it and lays out the consequences is one means to arm a school or school district against this problem. For one thing, when bullying is clearly defined, then it can be more easily recognized and separated from constructive criticism, discipline, and motivation, all of which are bordering areas. It is important that the policy be clear and research-based in order to not be so broad that students and teachers are fearful of being perceived as bullies at every turn when what they say is not praise. And it is different, though still potentially painful, if a child is picked last for games because he or she has an objectively poor skill set as opposed to being picked last due to an explicit campaign to ostracize him or her.

Policies to prevent bullying may explicitly mention major types of bullying, including verbal, social, physical, pack and cyberbullying, and racist, religious, homophobic bullying, along with bullying of people with disabilities. But it is important that policies should be worded so as not to exclude the bullying of mainstream victims, nor victims who are teachers, staff, administrators, or school board members, rather than students.

As of September, 2009, most states have bullying laws. Bullying laws do not exist, however, in Alabama, the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wisconsin.

Prevent Bullying With Consequences

With a carefully written and precise bullying definition in place, there is a need to follow up with appropriate and fair consequences when bullying occurs, whomever the perpetrator and victims are. Victims must know that they will get a fair hearing in order to be persuaded to come forward. Bullies must not be perceived as immune on account of longevity or position. Consequences need to be applied consistently in order for a policy to prevent bullying to be effective.

In states in which there are bullying laws and the bullying involves physical altercations or damage to or theft of property, the consequences of bullying may include criminal prosecution, as well as school sanctions. In addition, bullies, both students and teachers, not to mention schools, school districts, and parents of bullies have been sued for damages.

Prevent Bullying with Family Education

Perception of bullying has changed over time, and while a bullying policy can touch organizations such as schools, it is harder to reach families. People who come from families in which bullying was the norm have been exposed to behavior models that are not considered acceptable today. These people, whether teachers or students, may need explicit models of how to act on thoughts and feelings that could lead to bullying and/or they may need greater assistance to learn new behavior patterns and break old models, such as counseling, rather than simply punishment.

Community education is difficult and takes time: many people feel that what happens behind their closed front door is their business and is private and resent and reject suggestions for change. But if dad bullies mom, or vice versa, and the children take this behavior as a model, what’s behind closed doors can flow out into the community.

Within the home, parents can prevent bullying both by modeling alternative behaviors as well as explicitly pointing out behaviors that fall into the category of bullying and differentiating ways of acting and sharing behaviors that are acceptable within a family – in which people often know more about each other’s characteristics, faults and failings, for example, because of how space is shared rather than because someone has “outed” someone else – from what is acceptable in school and other public settings.


Other Means to Help Prevent Bullying

Supervision and appropriate intervention can help stop bullying that is in progress.
Teach appropriate assertiveness to those who are, or may be, targets of bullying.
If the bullying is linked to something that can be changed – such as an article of clothing or a lack of skill or training in some area – discuss various responses with the person, including changing the behavior, by making a different choice or by working to improve in the area that is lacking if this is an appropriate response, or learning to assert his or her right to be different, if this is appropriate. For example, if a student is ridiculed because his or her desk or locker is a mess with things falling out of it, some assistance in creating and maintaining order could both be beneficial and remove the reason for the bullying. If, however, the student wants to continue to wear a Yankee baseball cap in Red Sox territory, a different approach will be needed to prevent bullying.
Staff training can help make sure that the school (and state, if applicable) bullying policies are widely understood.
Some bullying occurs at the rate of “almost every day” according to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) 2007 data. Head off repeat offense by encouraging reports of bullying and making sure reports are dealt with expeditiously. A victim who has accepted another student’s derision as “jokes” up to a point, should be able to report the derision without feeling complicit or guilty for the bullying being ongoing.

The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming:

Written by kCAne MarkCO on . Posted in Blog, News, Video

The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming:

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying

Bully-related suicide can be connected to any type of bullying, including physical bullying, emotional bullying, cyberbullying, and sexting, or circulating suggestive or nude photos or messages about a person.

Some schools or regions have more serious problems with bullying and suicide related to bullying. This may be due to an excessive problem with bullying at the school. It could also be related to the tendency of students who are exposed to suicide to consider suicide themselves.

Some of the warning signs of suicide can include:

Showing signs of depression, like ongoing sadness, withdrawal from others, losing interest in favorite activities, or trouble sleeping or eating
Talking about or showing an interest in death or dying
Engaging in dangerous or harmful activities, including reckless behavior, substance abuse, or self injury
Giving away favorite possessions and saying goodbye to people
Saying or expressing that they can’t handle things anymore
Making comments that things would be better without them
If a person is displaying these symptoms, talk to them about your concerns and get them help right away, such as from a counselor, doctor, or at the emergency room.

In some cases, it may not be obvious that a teen is thinking about suicide, such as when the suicide seems to be triggered by a particularly bad episode of bullying. In several cases where bullying victims killed themselves, bullies had told the teen that he or she should kill him or herself or that the world would be better without them. Others who hear these types of statements should be quick to stop them and explain to the victim that the bully is wrong.

Other ways to help people who may be considering suicide include:

Take all talk or threats of suicide seriously. Don’t tell the person they are wrong or that they have a lot to live for. Instead, get them immediate medical help.
Keep weapons and medications away from anyone who is at risk for suicide. Get these items out of the house or at least securely locked up.
Parents should encourage their teens to talk about bullying that takes place. It may be embarrassing for kids to admit they are the victims of bullying, and most kids don’t want to admit they have been involved in bullying. Tell victims that it’s not their fault that they are being bullied and show them love and support. Get them professional help if the bullying is serious.
It is a good idea for parents to insist on being included in their children’s friends on social networking sites so they can see if someone has posted mean messages about them online. Text messages may be more difficult to know about, so parents should try to keep open communications with their children about bullying.
Parents who see a serious bullying problem should talk to school authorities about it, and perhaps arrange a meeting with the bully’s parents. More states are implementing laws against bullying, and recent lawsuits against schools and criminal charges against bullies show that there are legal avenues to take to deal with bullies. If school authorities don’t help with an ongoing bullying problem, local police or attorneys may be able to.
People who are thinking about suicide should talk to someone right away or go to an emergency room. They can also call a free suicide hotline, such as 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Friends and relatives of suicide victims also need to find someone to talk to as they grieve, especially if they are suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts themselves.


WebMD, Depression Guide, “Recognizing the Warning Signs of Suicide” [online]
Nemours, KidsHealth, “Helping Kids Deal with Bullies” [online]
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Suicide Prevention, “Youth Suicide” [online]
Yale University, Office of Public Affairs, “Bullying-Suicide Link Explored in New Study by Researchers at Yale” [online]
Matt Dickinson, The Independent, “Research finds bullying link to child suicides” [online]
Michael Inbar, MSNBC Today, “Sexting bullying cited in teen’s suicide” [online]
Susan Donaldson James, ABC News, Health, “Teen Commits Suicide Due to Bullying: Parents Sue School for Son’s Death” [online]
Erik Eckholm and Katie Zezima, The New York Times, “6 Teenagers Are Charged After Classmate’s Suicide” [online]